Dealing with emotions, no matter what they are

Editor’s note: This is a reprinted column from Jack Purcell’s “On the Journey” archives. It originally appeared in The Star in 2013.

A common perception is that women have more than their share and men were absent when emotions were being handed out. The truth may be somewhere in between.

All of humankind has emotions. They come with the package. Some folks seem to keep them front and center as though they run their lives with them. Others don’t seem to recognize that they have such a thing as feelings.

This scenario is often a matter of conflict in marriages, primarily because it affects communication.

Have you discovered the impact this has on your ongoing communication with God?

I have observed and experienced this for a very long time both in my own life and the lives of many friends. I would submit to you that it really doesn’t matter if you are a feeler or a stoic, you are responding to God in ways that are influenced by your personality type.

Let’s look at the emoter first. I wouldn’t want you to feel slighted. Just kidding. I happen to be one.

So how does reliance upon feelings enter into our fellowship with our Creator?

Trying to stay away from generalizations, I will say that a large number of feelers depend upon their feelings to gauge their position with the Lord. When they are feeling good about both themselves and life, the transfer is easily made to their spiritual life. 

The other side of the coin is not so good. The reason for the change in feeling doesn’t really matter, but when God can’t be felt or sensed it can lead to long period of isolation and despair.

“I don’t feel anything” or “I just feel dead” are common refrains. The problem for the feeler is that feelings or emotions have replaced faith and trust until this is confronted.

Now let’s consider the person who “has their feeling under control” or just “doesn’t have feelings.”

First, let’s recognize that feelings are a gift from God. They can serve as a release of joy and happiness or a means for dealing with great sadness and loss. For this person, the feelings may be kept “under control” or go unrecognized, but they are there.

So what does this practice have to do with our relationship to the Savior? Often it leads to an inability to “hear from God” in any fashion other than from pure biblical truth.

You may think, “So what’s wrong with that?” Nothing is wrong with it, but it changes the dynamic of one’s relationship with Jesus. It makes a quiet time a reading time when one waits for God to make a word or a passage personal.

We have to realize that the indwelling Holy Spirit can "prompt" a thought or action, or give us a "check" in our spirit when he needs to stop or reject a thought or action.

I love a passage from the Message Bible of Romans 8:26-28. “Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

The good news here is that no matter whether we emote or don’t, the Holy Spirit is praying for us and in us, and saying what needs to be said. Praise the Lord.